When you attend a theatre production based on a beloved classic, it can help to step into the auditorium with an open mind, but even the most forgiving of viewers will struggle to fully embrace Mean Girls The Musical. It's a mild pinch of a story, rather than one that burns.

Upon entering the theatre, a digital set greets you with vibrant cut-outs from the Burn Book. It's simple but promising, with an announcement from Tina Fey that adds a personal, comforting touch. Charlie Burn immediately steps into the role of Cady, transitioning from a homeschooled life in Kenya to the chaotic halls of North Shore High. However, instead of diving into teenage turmoil, Cady is met by a chorus of cheerful students in a feel-good opening number.

This is the beginning of misstep after misstep, with Mean Girls never quite reaching its potential.

Jeff Richmond's score is as bland and uninspired as the dated jokes themselves. The lyrics are serviceable at best, feeling like they were focus-grouped within an inch of their life. The result is songs that lack the raw and ruthless energy of the teenage experience.

I had to google the lyrics to use as an example, as I genuinely couldn't remember a single line:

"I got new things to try
Like high school, and skateboards, and rapping
And Starbucks venti chai."

The songs reduce teenage aspirations to cliches that feel like they should have been left back in 2014. While condensing a sprawling story into a two-hour and thirty-minute production is a challenge, the musical could have been more selective about which emotions and themes to highlight. Such lyrics are a disservice to the deeper insecurities of teens. Considering Mean Girls is a brand based on the cattiness and chaos of adolescence, it almost seems like it is running away from the real experience.

This is a problem that Mean Girls The Musical faces throughout: it struggles to ever truly find its purpose, feeling restrained instead of allowing the emotions underneath the story to run away with themselves. Despite the need to adhere to the original film's storyline and cater to a contemporary audience, the musical would have benefitted from establishing its own identity rather than presenting an uninspired replica with references to Starbucks Ventis and Ozempic. Rather than being relatable and downright hilarious, it feels overthought and as a result, aggressively fine and underwhelming.

Regina George is a prime example of this. Defined by her cruelty and campiness, she offers the opportunity for dramatic and exaggerated expressions of meanness, to show us sides of herself that we never got to see in the movie. Instead, the musical portrays her as strangely hesitant and never quite nasty enough. Georgina Castle sings:

"My name is Regina George
And I am a massive deal."

But we never quite believe it, and I'm not sure if she does herself.

The whole time I watched the tepid Regina, all I could think was: why not have her surrounded by flames? Where are the true looks of disgust? Have pages of the Burn Book fluttering down around her, make us feel her insecurities, show us all of her victims. It was a wasted opportunity to show some backstory!

It spent so much time trying to convince us that she was mean that she almost seemed nice.

In contrast, Tom Xander shines as Damien and completely steals the show, bringing a zingy, humorous performance that aligns perfectly with what fans love about the character. His scene-stealing moments, such as riding across the stage on an electric scooter and demanding his pink shirt back, had the audience eating out of the palm of his hand. He showed the perfect amount of progression for what a modern Mean Girls character can be and showcased the musical's potential.

Grace Mouat also delivers a strong performance as Karen, embodying her character's ditzy, wide-eyed innocence. While playing a less complex character like Karen might be easier, Mouat's portrayal is nonetheless delightful.

However, the production holds back too much, attempting to modernise and cater to contemporary audiences at the expense of the story's essence. Significant moments from the film, like Kevin G's iconic rap and the holiday talent show scene, are either omitted or rushed, resulting in a fragmented and unsatisfying experience. The musical feels about as impactful as an AI-generated playlist from Spotify, with audiences merely waiting for the final note.

There are some saving graces from the musical: the cast is undeniably talented and does their best with the material they are given. The songs are passable, the choreography is well-rehearsed, and the digital set does its job, although it is quite boring.

All in all, Mean Girls is best for a night out to simply pass the time. But don't go in expecting anything special.